Session Twenty-Nine: The Pardoner’s Tale

Hammering Things Out

After a few moments standing around the closed doors to the shrine of Saint Eloy, several members of the company recall that they found a well-used hammer located among Gascon’s ill-gotten loot. Sir Henri knocks upon the door and asks the answering monk whether or not Saint Eloy’s goldsmith’s hammer has gone missing. The monk answers in the affirmative, and the company swiftly produces and returns the hammer.

The company are let into the shrine with much rejoicing from the attendants. Henri the innkeeper points out the beautiful murals on the inner walls of the shrine, which tell the story of Saint Eloy driving the moneylenders and priests of Ranald out of Vierzon. This leads some in the company to believe that Gascon—in reality a worshipper of Ranald—stole the hammer to get back at the saint for this slight. The rest believe that Gascon was simply stealing holy relics to sell them later.

The monks at the shrine say that they cannot afford to reward the company directly. However, they do say that they will tell the goldsmiths and jewelers located around the shrine of the company’s deed. As a result, each member of the company gets a free piece of jewelry, as well as free pilgrim’s badges, from the shrine.

The company also spends time in the marketplace restocking supplies and purchasing new equipment. Magnus buys a live chicken, for experimentation purposes.

The Hammer of Saint Eloy

Goodbyes

The company returns to The Hungry Mice to find the pilgrims getting ready to depart. They also have brief conversations with Bram, Constance, and Sir Matthias, all of whom are preparing to go their separate ways. Bram, satisfied that Gascon will finally face justice, plans to go back home and rebuild his life. Constance finds the company’s adventures far too exciting for her tastes, and hopes to find someplace quiet where she can settle down. Sir Matthias decides to travel south in search of new adventures. Before he does so, the goodly knight offers up Ambrose to the company one last time. The company refuses this request, and Sir Matthias graciously rides off on his new steed.

Just before setting out with the pilgrims, the company commandeers both Gascon’s wagon and his horses. Pierre turns out to be a much better carter than he is a horseman, and is given the task of manning the wagon for the rest of the journey.

An Accounting

Andre presents Gascon’s ill-gotten loot to Dunray the manciple, who checks it against the records in his small accounts book. After an hour of careful calculations, he returns to the pilgrims the monies that Gascon took from them unfairly. The remainder is then given to the company as their fee for guarding the pilgrimage. Everyone is very happy with this.

Lunch by the Road

After half a day of leisurely travel, the pilgrimage stops in a convenient field and has a break for lunch. Henri the innkeeper takes the company aside and apologizes, saying that the money they gave him for food at Castle Carcassonne must be made to stretch much further to accommodate the pilgrims. As a result, he will not be able to provide the company with the rich foods they were expecting. He does, however, say that he was able to set aside a basket of delectable, including wine, for them to dine on. He tells them that they are not to share it with the pilgrims.

Arnaulf the cook attempts to help Henri the innkeeper with lunch, insisting that he is a very good cook, even if he is already drunk. He is distracted and sent away by the company, before falling asleep in the grass.

During lunch, Henri tells stories about the various shrines that both company and pilgrims have previously visited, as well as those they have not yet seen. The pilgrims are appalled, as none of Henri’s information coincides in any way with what Gascon had told them. The pilgrims also note that Gascon rarely let them stay at the various holy sites for very long, hurrying them from one place to another as quickly as possible. The company somehow has even less respect than Gascon.

Andre visits a nearby stream to catch fish with his magical fishhook. He gets no bites until he accidentally pricks his finger on the fishhook and wets it with his own blood. This causes the hook to shimmer for a moment, after which Andre catches a large fish in no time at all. He is disturbed by this, but offers up the fish to enlarge the repast anyway.

Meanwhile, Magnus uses his magical knife to cut the wing off of the chicken he bought. He first touches the knife to the wing, but this has no effect. He then proceeds to try to touch the knife to the chicken, only to have the bird hop away from him, squawking its head off. When the chicken is corralled, Magnus touches the knife to the wound. It is healed, but the chicken does not regrow her wing. Magnus thanks the chicken for its service to scientific understanding before breaking its neck.

Arnaulf Briefly Befriends Magnus' Chicken

Colmar

In the evening, the company arrives at the western gate of Colmar. They ask the guards at the gate about the town and potential places to stay. The guards say that they can recommend three places, based on price range. This causes several of the pilgrims to grouse that they would very much like to stay in a nice place, for once. The company agrees, and has the guards direct them to the finest establishment in the city—the King’s Arms.

The inn is conveniently located a stone’s throw from the western gate. The company and the pilgrims pay the somewhat pricy rates for rooms, baths, food, and similar. Magnus haggles with the innkeeper to get barrels of wine and food for the pilgrims’ use. When the innkeeper tells him that he cannot let Magnus have what he wants, because he will need to keep a stock aside from the evening’s guests, Magnus lays a pile of crown on the bar and says that he is hiring out the inn for a private party. The innkeeper, looking goggle-eyed at the coin, accepts, though he does warn Magnus that the inn already has other guests, who will likely be present.

While almost everyone else relaxes, Maurice and Sir Henri visit the nearby marketplace to sell trinkets and acquire other items. Magnus goes out to hire street musicians for the party and to put up notices around town stating that he is looking to hire men-at-arms.

The Town of Colmar

The Party

As night falls, a raucous party begins in the common room of the King’s Arms. Wine and other spirits flow, the food is piled high, and the hired minstrels regale the assemblage with lively tunes. Magnus asks the normally staid Dame Britolette to dance. To the surprise of all, she says yes. Frieda, who has been telling anyone who will listen that the King’s Arms has “the good beer!” is as shocked as anyone else when Sabina invites her to dance. They join Magnus and Britolette on the dance floor, to the cheers and joy of all.

In the meantime, Renee has discovered that she has had just a touch too much to drink. She quietly excuses herself, gets directions to the privy, and steps outside. She finds the privy well-made, clean, and not terrible smelling, though a scratching noise from within makes her reticent to use it.

As she is about to close the privy door and look for other options, a dagger sinks deep into the doorframe just above her head. Renee turns and looks up, just in time to see a mysterious figure on a nearby rooftop take aim and throw another dagger. This dagger whips by Renee’s cheek, imbeds itself in the still open privy door, and forces it closed.

Renee screams.

A Rooftop Pursuit

Inside the King’s Arms, the song comes to an end. Dame Britolette bows politely to the attendants, while Frieda, red-faced, moves close to Sabina and says that she would like to ask her something.

At that moment, Renee screams. The company, along with Frieda, fetch up what arms as are readily available and pour out into the street. Renee quickly joins the group and points upward. The company watches as the mysterious figure retreats along the rooftop. Numerous ranged weapons are employed, including Sabina’s pistol. This results in a broken flowerpot, a startled cat, and the oaths of an angry resident. However, in the dark and foggy night, it is difficult to tell if any of the missiles has dealt a blow to the figure.

The company flood out into the streets. Andre, using his sailor’s training, scales the side of the building and attempts to corral the figure on the roof. The figure flees from Andre, leaping across the street to land atop the privy.

While Sir Henri demands that the figure stand down, the other company members move to either shoot down the figure or surround the privy. Andre makes a desperate leap and lands on the roof beside the figure. Below, Magnus runs at full speed and shoulder-checks the side of the privy, caving in one wall and sending a large rat scurrying into the street.

Sir Henri once again shouts his demands, stating that if the figure does not surrender, that he and his companions will give them no quarter.

“Does he always talk this much?” asks the figure.

Under his breath, Andre says, “unfortunately? Yes.”

The Mysterious Figure